PLYMOUTH MEETING – Ask Caitlin Mundy to describe Denise Cotteta, and the somber expression on her face immediately is replaced by a smile.
The Plymouth Whitemarsh senior had that kind of effect on people.
“All I can say is every memory I have of her cracks me up,” Mundy said of her lacrosse teammate and friend who died of injuries sustained after she was struck by a car on March 28. “She was a girl who always had a smile. She put everything out on the field when she came to play, and she did everything for everyone.“She’s experienced more in her 17 years than some do in an 80-year lifetime. She had no fears and no boundaries.”
Megan Piotrowicz, a 2009 PW grad who is attending James Madison University on a lacrosse scholarship, extended her Easter break to attend Cotteta’s funeral on Tuesday. She offered similar sentiments.
“Honestly, she could always put a smile on your face,” the former PW standout said. “I could be having the worst day. I would go and talk to her, and she just instantly changed my mood.
“Really, there’s not a bad thing you could ever say about her.”
On Monday afternoon, Cotteta’s teammates played their first game since her tragic death when they faced Pottstown in a non-league tilt.
“We were anxious to get back out and get back into the routine of things, but there were definitely nerves,” Mundy said. “We didn’t know what to expect.
“We were missing our attacker down low, and she’s a big part of our team. With her missing, it was like a part of us was missing, so we had to step up even more to come together. As the game went on, we had to step up more and more.”
There were reminders of the senior attack player – whose favorite color was hot pink – everywhere.
The players wore commemorative black wristbands with Cotteta’s number 3 emblazoned in hot pink, and the initials DC were on the front of their jerseys. The coaches wore red t-shirts with Cotteta’s number on the sleeve and her initials on the front.
“Nothing prepares you for this,” Mundy said. “Especially senior year and especially the timing – we’re leaving for Disney World on Wednesday for our class trip. We have our Senior Dinner and prom, and it’s tough to have her not there for all of it.”
Cotteta’s life – and death – touched countless lives as evidenced by the many alums on the sidelines at Monday’s game.
“She was one of my best friends,” Piotrowicz said. “It’s hard, it’s really hard for all of us. The one thing that stands out in my mind is her personality. She’s just an all-around great kid.
“She was always smiling, always making jokes. We’ll never get her laugh out of our heads. It’s tough, but you have to play through it. You have to find strength in each other.”
And that’s exactly how the PW lacrosse players and coaches made it through those dark days after they heard the tragic news of the accident that claimed Cotteta’s life.
“At first, it was complete shock,” Mundy said. “No one could believe it. Then we hit our low point, and from that low point, we have definitely come very far this week.
“We had a lot of team meetings where we would just talk about it. That’s the biggest thing – we had to get everything out first before we could move forward. We were there for each other. Everyone had a shoulder to lean on.
“We have grown closer and closer as a team, more than ever. This is the closest we have ever been, and it’s all for her.
Bringing people together is something Cotteta did in life as well as her tragic death.
“She brought everyone together on the team,” said Erin Gorenflo, a 2009 grad who played lacrosse and hockey with Cotteta. “No matter who you were, what age you were – she brought everyone together.
“Everyone loved her, everyone was friends with her on the team. It didn’t matter who you were.”
Gorenflo went on to recount how Cotteta had attended one of her field hockey games at Gwynedd-Mercy College last fall.
“That meant so much to me that she still kept up with everyone, and she was still very involved with her teammates and all of her friends,” Gorenflo said. “She was just such an amazing person, and it’s so hard to imagine her not being here. I just can’t believe it. Of all the people – it just doesn’t seem real that it’s her.”
“Truly, I haven’t accepted it yet,” Piotrowicz said. “I still think I’m going to wake up from this nightmare.”
Ellen Reilly had to keep her emotions in check as she coached from the sidelines on Monday – no easy task knowing that her team would share a meal in the locker room after the game and then head off together for the viewing of their teammate and friend.
“I told them in the huddle – there are going to be a lot of tough things you’re going to deal with in life, and you find out what you have inside,” Reilly said. “You find out how strong you are and the passion you have for the sport, and you fight through it because you know (Denise) would.”
What will Reilly remember most about Cotteta?
“A lot of things,” the PW coach said. “Her smile, the little comments she would make, her sense of responsibility.
“I would call her all the time, and no matter what I asked her to do, she would do it. She was very responsible.”
Cotteta was a captain of PW’s field hockey team last fall.
“She would be the first person to tell you she’s not the strongest athlete, but she loved being on a team, she loved her teammates, and she loved being captain,” PW hockey coach Marianne Paparone said. “I don’t call kids often, but if I would call her because we had to change a practice time, her parents used the quote that ‘it was like the President of the United States had called.’
“She took her role of captain very, very seriously.”
Cotteta was actively involved in last fall’s Play for the Cure and made pink ribbon key chains that were sold at the game.
“This was the first year we did any kind of community service, and she was a big part of that,” Paparone said.
Paparone went on to acknowledge that Cotteta was a good friend to her teammates.
“Some of the kids she was closest to on the team were freshmen,” the PW coach said. “She took them under her wing. She loved to show them the ropes.
“She was just very loyal, and she just enjoyed whatever she was doing.”
Paparone laughed as she recalled her team’s annual scavenger hunt.
“We do it as a team bonding thing,” she said “We divided them into four teams, and it was like a curse to be on Denise’s team because she lost four years in a row.
“Instead of being bitter about it - at the banquet, she actually gave Ellen and me a picture saying ‘Four-year loser’ on it.”
As anyone who knew Cotteta will attest, the PW senior was anything but a loser. She was a winner, a winner who knew how to enjoy every minute of her 17 years.
“She definitely lived life to the fullest,” Piotrowicz said. “I was talking with some of my best friends – we called her princess, and for 17 years of her life, she was a princess, and we think that was for a reason.
“She got to experience a lot of things with us in our senior year that she didn’t get to experience this year. The first thing her mom said to me was, ‘I’m really glad I left her go down to Senior Week with you guys.’ In your senior year, you have the Florida trip, senior dinner, graduation dinner – she got to experience a lot of things with us, and that’s what we’re really happy about.”
Still, there was no mistaking the immense sadness that Cotteta will not be around to share her love of life with everyone whose path she crossed.
“What kills me the most is all the things she should have experienced – just going to college and all those things she won’t have now,” Gorenflo said. “That’s probably the hardest part, just wishing she was still around to have all of that.”
“She was our baby sister,” Piotrowicz said. “I have known her since she was so little and I got a lot closer to her in high school, and all I keep thinking is, ‘I can’t watch my baby sister grow up to be who I know she could be,’ but the 17 years she lived – she lived them right, that’s for sure.”
In Monday’s non-league game, Pottstown defeated PW 13-4, and the Trojans paid their tribute to Cotteta by wearing pink ribbons and headbands.
“Teams have been doing so much to reach out to us,” Mundy said.”We really appreciate all the support. The more, the better.”
The Class of 2009 is already planning events in Cotteta’s honor. It’s undoubtedly the first of many gestures ensuring that Cotteta - their friend, their ‘princess’ - will never be forgotten.
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