Pat Toner has never looked better.
The Council Rock South field hockey coach is tan and fit, looking every bit the part of someone more than capable of taking a 545-mile bike trip.
That’s exactly what Toner was planning to do when she flew to California in early June to participate in the AIDS/Lifecycle 7, a 545-mile bike trip from San Francisco to Los Angeles.
“I was looking for a life-changing experience, and that’s what I got,” she said. “But it wasn’t what I thought it was going to be.”
Toner’s trip of a lifetime turned into a nightmare when – at the most exhilarating moment of the trip – she received the shocking news that her 44-year-old brother, Stephen Rizzo, had died suddenly. Toner aborted the bike trip and returned home immediately, shattered by the heartbreaking news.
“I went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in a matter of five minutes,” she said. “I felt like somebody took my heart out and tore it in half.”
Despite its devastating ending, the trip forced Toner – who admits she wasn’t much of a bike rider, had a fear of flying and didn’t like the idea of sleeping in a tent - to look her fears squarely in the eye.
And she didn’t so much as flinch.
“There were two parts to the trip – feeling like you did something for humanity and, at the same time, personally challenging yourself to do something you never thought you were capable of doing,” Toner said. “It was the most difficult thing I have ever done, but it’s like the saying, ‘The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.’
“For me, this was so far outside my comfort zone, but I’m really happy I had a chance to do it. I had to be pushed to do it because I wouldn’t have done it on my own. It was a scary undertaking.”
Giving Toner the ‘push’ she needed was her friend, former Council Rock student Scott Frentrop. The 1982 grad has returned to the area - at his own expense – every year for the past 17 years to speak to the senior elective Studies in Sexuality classes at Council Rock North and South.Each year, between 300 and 500 seniors take the class, which requires parental permission. Guest speakers are an integral part of the class, and Fentrop is one of the most popular.
“He’ll show slides of when he climbed Mount Kilimanjaro or the time he went on a safari,” said Toner. “He’s just an inspiring person because of what he has done with his life.
“He comes in – not to promote a lifestyle, but to tell what it was like growing up knowing you were different in a different time period. He’s such an inspirational speaker, and as kids listen to him – they want to travel the world and do some of the things he’s done. They’re not concerned that he’s gay but just because he’s such an inspirational person.”
It was Fentrop who inspired Toner to invest money in a road bike and train rigorously for a year prior to the trip.
“Scott said, ‘I’m not going to stop asking you until you do it,’” Toner recalled. “I always said, ‘Scott, I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I’m 56, and I don’t own a bike that’s any good.’
“I thought, ‘You know what – this man has done this for us for so many years. I’ll put aside my fears and do something for someone else.’ I decided to hit all of my fears at once and do the best that I can.”
Participants were required to raise $2,500. Toner raised over $5,600.
When it came time to make the trip, Toner admits she was scared.
“I flew out by myself,” she said. “When I got there, I took a 27-mile training ride in San Francisco, which was pretty difficult.”
After emotional opening ceremonies, which included a riderless bike representing all those who had died from AIDS, Toner and her fellow riders – there were 2,500 participants - drove 82 miles on the first day of the trip.
“There were parts that were pretty terrifying,” she said. “The wind was really strong, and it wasn’t just hills – it was mountains, but I did it. I didn’t get off the bike other than the rest stops.”
The second day was 105 miles, and Toner, who was dehydrated, began cramping up, forcing her to forego the final 10 miles.
“About 400 people were brought in,” Toner said. “It was a tough day.”
The following day, a hydrated Toner conquered the Quad Buster – which included a four-mile approach and a 1.3 mile climb.
“Everybody had been talking about it, everybody was scared of it, and I don’t know how, but I made it up,” she said. “It was the most exhilarating feeling I have ever had. There were people at the top of the hill who had gotten up there already, cheering for you. People were playing drums. It was unbelievable.
“I got to the top, and I was on an emotional high. I couldn’t believe I could do this.”
The riders were 46 miles into a 66-mile day when they made a stop in the small town of Bradley where they were greeted by elementary school children holding a fund raiser within a fund raiser.
“It looked like a very poor school district, and the whole town served hamburgers and hot dogs to the 2,500 riders,” she said. “You could pay whatever you wanted, and they used the money to buy books and go on class trips.”
As she was standing in line waiting for her food, Toner decided to make her daily phone call to her parents.
“I called home to tell them how beautiful it was,” she said. “My mom said, ‘You need to sit down. I have something awful to tell you.’ I said, ‘I don’t want to hear anything awful. I’m 3,000 miles away on a bicycle.’”
And at that moment - her moment of greatest joy, Toner received word that her youngest sibling had passed away in his sleep from what was later diagnosed as hypertrophic cardiomyopothy.
Toner, who doesn’t remember what happened next, was told she collapsed. The following day, she left for home – an excruciating 27-hour trip that remains a blur.
“I think I went into shock,” she said. “I don’t know how I got home.
“The people from the ride, people I didn’t even know, were incredibly wonderful. I was so appreciative of that. Everyone has been tremendous.
“The experience is something I don’t know how to describe. I’m so appreciative of the fact all the people at school and all my friends supported me for the bike ride and then supported me after the death of my brother. If there’s one thing I can be thankful for it’s to be surrounded by people that are awesome.”
Despite the ending, the trip will always evoke special memories for Toner.
.jpg)
“It was life changing,” she said. “As we were riding, I saw people holding up signs with pictures of children or husbands or wives or partners who had passed away from AIDs, and they would just say, ‘Thank you.’ That was just an incredible experience.The record will show that Toner rode only 230 miles of the 545-mile trip. It was more than enough to change her life forever.
“It was the most amazing experience,” she said. “I didn’t think I could do it, but I think anybody can do anything if they put their mind to it.
“I always liked community service. I think it’s important, and I encouraged the kids to get involved. I thought, ‘I’m going to put my money where my mouth is’ and do something that was far out of my comfort zone.
“I loved that I was able to do that and challenge myself. Even though it ended the way it did – and maybe somewhere along the line I’ll find out the reason for that – I’m still very thankful for the time I got to spend out there.”
It was a life-changing experience, to be sure.
- Log in to post comments
0
